30 replies to this topic

[globster2000]

The CIA had an opening for an assasin.After all the background checks,interviews and testing were done there were three finalist.two men and a women.For the final test,the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a .45 revolver."We must know that you will follow your instructions,no matter what the circumstances.Inside this room,you will find your wife sitting in a chair.Kill Her!"The man said,"You can't be serious,I could never kill my wife."The agent said,"Then your not the right man for this job."The second man was given the same instructions.He took the gun and went into the room.All was quiet for about 5 minutes.Then the man came out with tears in his eyes."I tried,but i can't kill my wife."The man said."you don't have what it takes.Take your wife and go home."Finally,it was the woman's turn.She was given the same instructions to kill her husband.She took the gun and went into the room.Six shoots were heard,one shot after another.The agents heard screaming,crashing and banging on the walls.After a few minutes,all was quiet.The door opened slowly and there stood the woman.She wiped the sweat from her brow,and said,"This gun is loaded with blanks.I had to beat him to death with the chair."  

[Cr33KfR34k]

rofl

[Uchiha-Sango]

lmao good 1 globby  

[Stalker7d7]

HAHA GREAT ONE, too bad I've heard it before.....

[JAVA_Gib]

lmao that was pretty damn funny

[Lights_Warrior]

Lol that's funny

[ario]

haha

[Prometheus]

i wanna hear another one post another one plz i liked that one

[Wolf]

thats great... i was half expecting her to say i hated the stupid bastard anyways or something but that ending was briliant >.<

[Lungs-of-fire]

hahah she killed him

[eagle-strike]

gotta say thats cute but so typical of females


thus my motto "Love Kills Lust is more Fun"

[Mr.Snuggles]

A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk."

Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"

"Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."

Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled."

[Wolf]

man thats great good one mr snuggles almost as good as the posted joke >.< probably better ... drunk jokes are great >.<

[immortalwombat]

heh i love it when jokes are predictable and yet still amusing

[Wolf]

in my current relationship status i think i would have gone in and shot the bitch said well ... no need for a divorce now ... if only i was married LOL but i'm not ... yay... or rather ... when the gun didnt fire throw the damn gun and run like hell cuz if i didnt kill her she'd sure kill my stupid ass... women are so violent ie the one in the story >.<

[Mr.Snuggles]

Top 10 Rejection Lines Given By Women (and what they actually
mean...)


10. I think of you as a brother. (You remind me of that inbred
banjo-playing geek in "Deliverance.")


9. There's a slight difference in our ages. (You are one
jurassic geezer.)


8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way. (You are the ugliest
dork I've ever laid eyes upon.)
7. My life is too complicated right now. (I don't want you
spending the whole night or else you may hear phone calls from
all the other guys I'm seeing.)


6. I've got a boyfriend (who's really my male cat and a half
gallon of Ben and Jerry's).


5. I don't date men where I work. (Hey, bud, I wouldn't even
date you if you were in the same 'solar system', much less the
same building.)


4. It's not you, it's me. (It's not me, it's you.)


3. I'm concentrating on my career. (Even something as boring
and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you.)
2. I'm celibate. (I've sworn off only the men like you.)

...and the number 1 rejection line given by women (and what it
actually means)
1. Let's be friends. (I want you to stay around so I can tell
you in excruciating detail about all the other men I meet and
have sex with. It's that male perspective thing)
__________________________________________________ _

In response... The male perspective on the same issue ...

Top 10 Rejection Lines Given By Men (and what they actually
mean...)
10. I think of you as a sister. (You're ugly.)


9. There's a slight difference in our ages. (You're ugly.)


8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way. (You're ugly.)
7. My life is too complicated right now. (You're ugly.)


6. I've got a girlfriend. (You're ugly.)


5. I don't date women where I work. (You're ugly.)


4. It's not you, it's me. (You're ugly.)


3. I'm concentrating on my career. (You're ugly.)


2. I'm celibate. (You're ugly.)

...and the number 1 rejection line given by men (and what it
actually means)


1. Let's be friends. (You're sinfully ugly.)

[heather]

*morpheus Sounds like something i would do........GRrrrrrrr

[JAVA_Boomman]

WOW good one! another plzzzzzzzz

[Mr.Snuggles]

A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep.
Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it.
He told them to go away and let him get some sleep but they persisted until finally he gave in.
"OK, follow me" he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him.
Down through the valley they went, across a river and into a forest full of trees.
Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him.
"Now, do you see that tree over there?" he asked.
"Yes, Yes, Yes!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy.
"Good" said the bat, "Because I sure as hell didn't!"

[Ret]

lmao that is totally awesome!